Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
