a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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