the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
