i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
