Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
