Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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