oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
