he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
