I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
