On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Are my feet made of real feet?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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