I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
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I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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