you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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