Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
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I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
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Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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