Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I have tasted many bathrooms
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
