I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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