He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The best revenge is premature balding
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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