We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
