i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
