I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
