btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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