If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
