Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
