Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
