I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
