the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
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Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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