You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize