i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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