Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
