I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
