KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
