Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
