Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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