ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize