your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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