Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
