Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
