what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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