Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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