areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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