If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
