do herpes really smell.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
