Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I didn't shave. On purpose
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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