So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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