How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
