is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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