she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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