I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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