I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
