Porn is love you can see.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
