I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
