She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
