Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
well you can't waste a boner
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
