The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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