Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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