He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
