My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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