I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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