can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I am one with the molecules
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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