North Korea, Best Korea!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
