Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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