need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We had to coat check the pizza.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
